I.O.U. a Gift
The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week's wedding questions. Today: When it came to sending a wedding gift, you snoozed. Don’t lose! Try this solution to redeem yourself
“Better late than never, right?”
It’s never easy to admit an error. Instead of stepping forward, people tend to exacerbate the problem by letting it go for longer and longer. Unfortunately, all that does is to get you into a big mess!
A guest asks: “I was invited to the wedding of a close friend several years ago. I never sent a gift, because I just kept looking for the perfect present. As is often the case, the months became years and now I find myself so deep in the hole that I just don’t know how to get out of it. Do you have a solution to help me save face?”
Dear guest: I know how you feel. Many of us, myself included, mean to do something that’s time-sensitive — and we just never get around to it. As time goes by, it gets more and more embarrassing and becomes more difficult to rectify the problem. But you do have a way out! First, fess up: Write a note to your friend, or better yet (even though it takes more guts), call her. Explain that there’s no excuse for your behavior. Giving an excuse like, “I was just too busy,” or that you forgot (or pretty much any excuse) will just make things worse. Your friend won’t be interested in why you got in this jam, but only in your “I’m sorry.” Go out and buy a gift, the best one, even if it’s not “perfect.” Put the letter inside and send the gift. Your friend’s reaction will, no doubt, be happy, not angry. She’s probably been wondering for years why you never sent a gift and figuring that she must have offended you in some way.
Whatever you do, no jokes, please, and no e-mail, texting, Tweeting, or Facebook post. This isn’t the time to be cutesy. The sincerity in your letter or phone call is very important toward getting the reaction from your friend that you hope for. Last, but not least, you might want to spend somewhat more than you’d originally budgeted for. That might help get a positive response. And in the future, try to remember their anniversary with a card!
To submit your own question to the Wedding Guru, email Judy at firstname.lastname@example.org.