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How to Follow-Up with Wedding Guests Who Forgot to R.S.V.P. (Politely!)

One mother-of-the-bride faces the most unpleasant task: following up on missed R.S.V.P.s

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Dear mother of the bride: Yes — it is your responsibility to deal with this (and it’s not an envious position to be in)! It is absolutely proper for you to make those calls. If you can speak with the guest, a polite approach (even if you are really annoyed) is appropriate. Ask if they have received the invitation to your daughter and future son-in-law’s wedding on the given date. (Keep in mind that it’s possible that the invitation never arrived.) Then simply ask if the guest(s) will be attending. If you reach someone who wavers with a response, you’ll need to be firm and say that the caterer (or whoever) has to know by the R.S.V.P. date, so that you don’t get charged for guests who aren’t coming.

If you need to leave a message, the same text works — but do ask for the guest to promptly send you a response. This way, you don’t need to make another round of calls.

It’s unfortunate that with so many ways to connect with people, electronically and otherwise, that there still are people who are rude when it comes to an R.S.V.P. I hope you won’t have too many calls to make and that, when you do, you try to put on a “pleasant face!”

Do you agree with this advice? Add your thoughts to the comments box below.

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About This Blog

Tying the knot shouldn't put knots in your stomach, so whether you're the blushing bride, hubby-to-be, or even a wedding guest, The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis can answer all of your wedding-related questions.

This blog hails from, the one-stop resource for services and products, promotions and specials, a Regional Bridal Show schedule, Wed Shop, and links to money-saving and wedding-related Web sites.

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