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My Friend Ditched My Wedding; Do I Need to Send a Gift to Hers?

If a friend never showed up to your wedding or mailed a card, is it okay to do the same to her?

Photograph by Devteev/Shutterstock

Sometimes doing the right thing can be “painful,” but two wrongs never make a right. See what I mean below:

A local bride asks...

“A friend is getting married in the spring. I invited her and her fiancé to our wedding; they never came, nor did they send a gift or a card. Now I’m invited to her wedding. I don’t intend to go — do I need to send a gift?”

The Wedding Guru says...

The classy thing to do is to send a gift. Under most circumstances this advice holds true. (Keep in mind that it’s possible that your friend never got the invitation to your wedding, or she did and didn’t know the proper etiquette.) One exception: you are no longer in touch with one another, or had a falling out. Then again, if this was true, you would probably be surprised by an invitation to such a wedding. Only under those conditions is a gift not necessary.

Got more questions? Write to me at

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About This Blog

Tying the knot shouldn't put knots in your stomach, so whether you're the blushing bride, hubby-to-be, or even a wedding guest, The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis can answer all of your wedding-related questions.

This blog hails from, the one-stop resource for services and products, promotions and specials, a Regional Bridal Show schedule, Wed Shop, and links to money-saving and wedding-related Web sites.

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