Wedding Invitations: What to Do When Inviting Divorced Parents to the Wedding
A mother-of-the-bride is offended to learn her daughter invited her ex-husband — without consulting her
For the bride whose parents are divorced — especially if they haven’t yet resolved their issues — her wedding day will have a tinge of sadness. It becomes especially difficult when one parent feels the other doesn’t deserve an invitation because he or she has been out of the bride’s life for an extended amount of time.
Dear Wedding Guru: “My daughter just told me that she invited her father to her wedding. In the past, he’s played no role in her life. He’s not (nor has he offered) to pay for any part of the wedding. My daughter knew I felt uncomfortable about her inviting him and went and did it anyway. I just feel as though my feelings were not taken into account. I’m paying for a big part of this wedding and feel like he is coming and making no contribution. How should I move on with this? I’m hurt about what my daughter did and do not know what to do.”
(Our answer on next page)
The Wedding Guru says: I understand your distress and disappointment with your daughter’s actions. She certainly should have consulted you before she made that call. Because there’s no way to turn back the clock, I suggest that you take the high ground and tell her that, since it is her wedding, you’ll honor her decision to invite her father — despite the fact that you feel she owed it to you to consult with you first.
If you wish, you can tell your daughter that she needs to ask her father to pay his own way — but before you do that, think whether it is worth it to you to create bad feelings over paying for one more guest. If you work this unpleasant situation to your advantage, you’ll come out looking really good to your daughter.