Wedding Officiant: To Give a Gift?

If the officiant’s personalized service is a gift in itself, is she required to give an additional gift

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I don’t believe that we have had an inquiry in the past from an officiant. When it comes to rules of etiquette, a wedding “corners the market.”  Everyone involved understands how important the day is, so all want to do things “the right way,” even the person performing the ceremony.

A Hudson Valley officiant asks: “I’m an interfaith minister and I’m privileged to officiate many weddings. On some occasions, the couple invites me to the rehearsal dinner and/or reception. I usually attend only when I know the couple or their family really well. (In those cases, I offer a “friends and family” rate, which is very reasonable.) The ceremony I write is personalized to the couple and their uniqueness; it’s also a time-consuming, labor-intensive process. In the ceremony itself, I mention that the address is my gift to the couple. So, when I attend the reception, should I be giving a gift in addition to my personalized address?”

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