| Friday, May 09, 2008 |  | | Rush, Rush, Rush... | | |
Things have been getting a little hectic for me around here. Okay, maybe not just a little — a lot. A whole lot!
I have a list of things to do about a mile long, and — it seems — no time to do anything! I have one of those PDA Smart Phones, and I keep all of my appointments on it so I can remind myself to do certain things, like call people or go to appointments. If you were here to see it right now, you’d definitely laugh. There are about 23,956 tasks for me to complete this week. I’ll fill you in on just a few…
-Finish a “must play/do not play” song list for the DJ
-Create a list of important shots for the photographer to take
-Finish the seating chart
-Make final payments for reception hall, photographer, florist, DJ, etc.
-Write up place cards
-Go to a friend’s wedding (that’s right, the rest of the world is still moving!)
-Mother’s day stuff… obviously. I have to thank my mom so much for helping me through this!
-Get a haircut/facial?
-Final dress fitting
-Call vendors to confirm... well, everything!
-Purchase carry-on bags for honeymoon
-Pick up veil and headpiece
… and the list goes on. I’m not one of those people who get very easily stressed out, but I am definitely nearing the edge right now! The only thing that’s keeping me sane is the fact that at the end, I’ll be married. So all the money and time spent — and general craziness right now — will be worth it in the end.
Oh, I almost forgot! I have to take a second to say how EXCITED I am about having my reception at the Garden Cathay Resort!
I have to admit that as time passed since the last time I saw the place, I began to forget what it looked like and get a little nervous. I know that sounds a little strange but the last time I visited was in February, and wintertime doesn’t exactly do justice to the gardens and the beautiful landscaping that they have there. It’s not that it was bad — but when I went this past week to finalize some things, it looked absolutely spectacular! There are water gardens and landscaping features that I didn’t even know existed, and everything is just clean and well-put together. I definitely started to get more excited after that visit… I hope the weather is good (or at least clear) on our wedding day — I’d hate for the guests to miss out on all the outdoor beauty of Garden Cathay! (Plus, it would make for a lot of mighty nice pictures… ) ;-)
I would love to write something really unique and useful for you this week, but I have to admit that, as things are winding up, my brain is winding down! I will leave you with this piece of advice, though:
All you brides-to-be out there — when planning your wedding, think “easy!” There are going to be things that you want to do yourself, and that’s great — but if you can avoid doing it or afford to have someone else help you/do it for you, even better! It might not seem like that much work when you think of it, but as the day draws near you’re going to wish that you hired someone to do your hair/flowers/catering, etc.
I only say this because I didn’t want to listen to my mom’s advice about “keeping things simple” in the beginning, but I am SO glad I did. Putting a wedding together is more work that I thought!
Here are some tips to help keep it simple:
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: To Shoot, or Not to Shoot. To help ensure that critical shots are taken, describe the special people to your photographer. Give him/her cues about your VIPs such as clothing, distinguishing characteristics, or better yet, with a photo.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: More Last Minute Details. Pick up your wedding bands. Put the fees and tips in envelopes (officiant, soloist, maitre d' etc.) and give it to someone you put in charge of making the payments (usually the Best Man). Arrange with someone to bring items to the wedding venue... cake knife, toasting glasses, programs, votive candles, unity candles, ribbons, "Reserved For" cards, ring bearer pillow, flower girl baskets, emergency kit for the bride, wedding license, etc. and to take them home. Arrange for someone to return the rentals (tuxedos, chairs, etc.). Arrange for someone to take your bouquet and your gown "home" or bring it in for wedding gown preservation. Pack for your honeymoon. Design a "Day of the Wedding" schedule with times and tasks and share it with the key "players" in your wedding, such as your Maid of Honor and Best Man.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Weather or Not. Many insurance companies now offer "Wedding Insurance." As with any contractual agreement, it's important to read the fine print. Wedding insurance can be a blessing in the event of cancellation or postponement.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: You Can Take No for an Answer. Don't be afraid to ask for help, but when you do, explain that you will understand being turned down — you'd rather hear a "no" up front than an uncompleted assignment later.
Hope this helps!
~Laura =)
P.s. Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 1:04:16 PM | | | Friday, May 02, 2008 | | | The Cake's the Thing | | |
There's one thing that I’ve obviously been leaving out the entire time — the cake! I guess the cake’s a pretty important detail, but there have been so many other things to do that the cake things just kind of got lost in the mix.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Petite Fours and Cupcakes Give new twist the traditional elaborate wedding cake by serving individual "cakes" to your guests. When we first started talking about getting married, Tim mentioned that there is only one cake that he enjoys eating; a white Pillsbury boxed-mix cake with bananas as filling and Cool Whip topping. In the beginning I was totally cool with it (I mean, you can make whipped cream cakes look really cool — kind of like fluffy clouds! — and it does taste pretty good). But when I found out that the caterer provides us with a cake, I wasn’t sure if the whole Cool-Whip-and-bananas thing would go over so well. Especially since bananas tend to get brown after a few hours of being used as filling — not cute! This suddenly became a problem, because neither of us knew anything about cakes! I know what I like; chocolate and berries, like raspberries or strawberries; and we know what he likes… well, Cool Whip and bananas. I spent a bunch of time online looking up cake lingo, and I picked up a couple useful terms. Let me share my newfound knowledge with you! =)
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: When the Bride Cuts the Cake choose an elegant option with violins and flutes playing in a semi-circle around the newlyweds.
DECORATIONS:
Dragees: Those rock-hard balls of sugar that people sometimes put on cakes — you know, the ones that look barely edible (but gorgeous nonetheless)? They’re sometimes painted metallic to make them look silver or gold.
Gum Paste: A mix of gelatin, corn starch, and sugar make up this easy-to-sculpt substance. If you ever see uber-realistic flowers or bow decorations on a cake, you’re looking at a gum paste creation! Objects made with gum paste also stick around for a while, so you could keep your gum paste flowers for years to come and they’ll never disappear (a little gross, but true!).
Piping: Pattern cake decorations like dotted swiss, basketweave, latticework, and shells. The patterns are created with icing in a pastry bag.
Marzipan: Almonds, egg whites, and sugar make up this thick paste, which can be molded into tons of different decorations. You can make colors in marzipan as bright as can be — it has the ability to be really vibrant stuff. Watch out, though, it’s super-sugary!
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Oh Yummy! Taste samples of both the cake and the frosting options you're considering.
ICINGS:
Buttercream: This is probably the most common icing that you’ll ever find — the creamy stuff they put on your birthday cake at the grocery store bakery, or the icing you use to ice your cakes at home. Since it’s really creamy and thick, you can use it to make cool designs, like flowers or scalloping along the edges of the cake. It’s really melty, though, so you best not leave it out in the sun for too long! (In other words, if you’re having an outdoor wedding it might not be the best idea.)
Whipped Cream (YES!! =D): Everyone knows what whipped cream is, and although it’s probably the most delicious icing out there, it’s not the best for a wedding cake. You literally have about five minutes to leave it out of the fridge before it starts getting all droopy and melting all over the place. A good idea if you’re in it just for the flavor, but a bad idea if you want good pictures later on…
Royal Icing: The extra-hard stuff you put on gingerbread houses as a kid. It’s white and shiny, and made out of confectioner’s sugar and egg whites or milk.
Fondant: A smooth, stiff icing made from gelatin and corn syrup. It’s pretty trendy right now; if you look at wedding cakes online, most modern designs are made from this. It’s not the most delicious icing out here, but it doesn’t need to be refrigerated so it’s perfect for outdoor weddings!
Ganache: A combo of heavy cream and chocolate that forms kind of a glassy-looking top coat over a cake when you pour it on top. It’s really bad in the heat, though — it’ll slide right off if you’re not careful! Scary stuff…
So this is what I learned about cakes over the past few weeks. I also learned that you can layer the cakes with different flavors if you have a multi-tiered cake, so that I can have my dark chocolate with raspberry filling, and yes — Tim can have his favorite cake! No hassles, no problems!
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: To Top It Off borrow a cake-topper from a close friend, or, if you're lucky and they kept it, from your parents or grandparents. Oh — and I chose a cake topper! There’s this designer Ty Wilson who does a line call “Perfect Match-rimony,” and you can put together a bride and a groom with the same hair color and ethnicities as you and your fiancé! They’re made out of beautiful porcelain and although they’re pretty big, I think they’ll look great on top of the cake! Here’s a pic (except the hair colors will be reversed – I’m the dark-haired one!)...
That’s that. We’re ordering the cake this week, so I’ll let you know what we decide on. Until then, have a great week!
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Preserve Your Wedding Cake properly and enjoy it on your first anniversary. Wrap the top layer in plastic wrap and cover in aluminum foil. (Don't use just foil, because it may leave a metallic taste.) Store in the back of the freezer.
WEDDING COUNTDOWN: 22 DAYS!!
~Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 9:06:11 AM | | | Friday, April 18, 2008 | | | A Little Vent-age... | | |
Okay, so I'm feeling the need to spill some guts here. The wedding is getting closer, and lately I've been feeling a little — how should I put it? — sick to death of weddings!
Before you start freaking out, let me explain myself a little further. I'm not saying that I'm sick of my particular wedding — because, believe me, I am really starting to get psyched. It's just the wedding stuff that I see and frequently run into that are becoming a little frustrating to me.
Heh, that still sounds terrible, doesn’t it?
Hmmm… well, this is what I mean: last night, I was browsing a particular channel on television when a show came on that some of you might have seen — "Bulging Brides." Basically, this is a television show where brides-to-be have ordered dresses that are much too small on them so they have to diet and work out like madwomen to lose the extra sizes before the wedding.
I have multiple problems with this, the first being that these girls feel the need to order dresses that are so small. Why can't they just order dresses that fit in the first place? Why does everyone feel the need to be this tiny, socially-correct weight? I know it's not a new problem, and certainly not exclusive to brides, but it still angers me... and I think I've discovered the culprit to why it happens to brides, at least...
Wedding magazines! Yes, those thick, glossy, 500 page bride bibles that you see lining the shelves of every magazine rack around. I bought a few when I first got engaged out of sheer excitement, but I have slowly become disillusioned to them as the months roll by. First of all, the pages are about chock-full of advertisements, so out of your 500 page weddingfest you're going to get about 150 actual articles and picture pages, I kid you not.
The advertisements are also all for these super over-the-top items, like three carat diamond and platinum rings (which I tend to think are showy and pretentious), couture dresses costing upwards of $8,000 on terribly skinny models, and crystal "wedding trees" (which, if you haven't heard of them already, are Swarovski crystal-laden manzanita branches that can cost anywhere from $250-$600 just for one — and they are often used as centerpieces!).
Now if I were a millionaire or someone who enjoyed blowing cash on things like that, I would probably love these magazines. If you are one of these people, that's fine — it's great to have enough money to spend on things like that, given that you actually like them and aren't just being taken advantage of by the companies who produce these items and tell you that your wedding must be the biggest, the showiest, and the most expensive. I've seen so many of these TV shows where the engaged couple says that they wanted everything to be over-the-top because that's "just who they are." It's surprising how many of these seemingly down to earth TV couples suddenly morph into members of an elite class of glamorous big spenders when a marriage is brought into the picture.
Wow, I just did a lot of complaining! I know I probably sound like a jerk by saying all of these things, but my main point is that I think people lose the true meaning of what is behind a wedding when they are planning one. (I know I've lost it a couple of times!) I have definitely done my share of admiring extravagant centerpieces, ogling expensive dresses, and wishing that I was having my reception at some exotic location. I always feel ashamed afterwards, though, because every time I lust over a pair of white Manolos while shoe-hunting, I feel like I lose a little piece of why I'm getting married in the first place... it's kinda like those over-commercialized holidays that card and gift companies take advantage of, like Christmas and Valentine's Day; as we’re running around to give these companies who produce holiday gear all of our money, we tend to forget why we're doing it in the first place.
Diamonds, dresses, cakes, and gifts aside, at the end of the day you're married. A wedding is supposed to be a nice day to celebrate your commitment to a lifelong relationship, to be shared with your family and friends – not an all out impress-fest. So what if you can't afford a $15,000 wedding band or Swarovski-encrusted seat cushions? Big deal if you can't spend $150 a plate? And who cares if you can't afford a band, or even a DJ? Chances are you'll be happy no matter what you're eating, wearing, or sitting on — if you're not, maybe your heart's in the wrong place. That's the way I see it, anyway — and I doubt there are many out there who would disagree!
Soooo... that being said, I'd like to include some useful bits of advice from HudsonValleyWeddings.com about seating arrangement, since I've been thinking a lot about that lately. My seating arrangement stories aren't even close-to-notable enough to share with you at this point, but maybe you'll get something useful out of these tips. Take care!
~Laura =)
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Something New in Place Cards: Make or buy cookies and inscribe each with a name of a guest.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Keep It In Place (no pun intended): Instead of ordinary place cards, reserve your guests' seats with hand-labeled stickers with each guest's name.
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Cozy Up: If tables are placed adjacent one another, guests can converse with one another by visiting "next-door."
HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: It's All in the Colors: Using color-coded index cards for each category of guests (e.g., groom's side) makes it easier to shuffle seats while you're setting up your tables. |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 8:32:44 PM | | | Friday, April 11, 2008 | | | If Music Be The Food of Love… | | Last night I woke up with a start after having a miserable dream – it was our wedding day, and nothing had gotten accomplished! The bridesmaids never picked up their dresses, we forgot to have our final meeting with the pastor at our church to finalize our vows, no one knew where the church was (so half our guests were missing,) and I had to use weeds from the church’s lawn as my flowers. I swear, I’m not making this up just for the blog – it was a real nightmare!
As silly as that sounds, it was kind of a freak-out moment for me. I think it’s probably because it’s been a couple weeks since I’ve done any planning – not because I don’t want to, but just because there are very few things left for us to do. I’ve kind of just been sitting around, waiting for things to happen (Not that they’re going to happen on their own, but a girl isn’t always running around like mad during this wedding planning thing! It’s been six months since we got engaged – things are starting to settle down a bit.)
One thing that we didn’t fully plan yet is our music. Not the ceremony music, but the reception music. Let me just tell you before I go any further, though, about how much I LOVE the music we picked for our ceremony! It’s pretty typical wedding music, but it’s all music that, as a classical musician, I’ve loved since I was in high school – “Pachelbel’s Canon in D,” “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring,” and “The Prayer” (okay, so that one’s not really a classic, but how beautiful is that song?? If you haven’t heard it, go to LastFM and check it out – I like the version by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli.) I can’t wait to hear it all together during the ceremony! Eeee! (That was an excited shriek.) =P
Okay, so – reception music. The first decision we had to make was whether to have a band or a DJ play at the reception. After researching a bunch of different options, we quickly realized that bands are hella expensive right now – running anywhere from $2,000 to $5,000+ for a wedding reception. Although Tim and I both like the live music experience (of course we do – we’re both musicians!) we couldn’t bring ourselves to spend that much on reception music…especially after all the other expenses we have towards the wedding. It was on to the DJ pages for us!
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com: Alternative to Live: If you are unable to see a DJ "live," before hiring, ask to see photographs of weddings or other events at which the DJ has performed. Pictures can tell a lot.]
We checked out a couple of options in the area with the help of a few wedding Web sites, including TheKnot.com and HudsonValleyWeddings.com – can you tell that we’re Internet people?? Maybe I should have called this blog ‘Wired Valley Weddings” instead! =P
Not surprisingly, there are a lot of really good DJs here in the Hudson Valley area. It made our decision really difficult. Here’s a list of a couple that we checked out:
-Hudson Valley DJ Service · "D.J. Jay" (Kingston)
-Mad Mike & Friends DJ Service (Poughkeepsie)
-B.O.S.S. Systems Entertainment · Frank Banks, D.J. (Stone Ridge)
-Alex Mazur, DJ/Pianist (New Paltz)
After all was said and done, we had it narrowed down to about four different DJs that we were ready to look further into. Then, suddenly there was a revelation – wasn’t one of our band members, Jon, a part-time employee at a local DJ service? Wasn’t it a really good, trustworthy company that we knew would be entertaining and not flake out on us on the big day? And wouldn’t they maybe, just maybe, give us a “bro deal” for being friends with an employee??
We asked Jon, and looked into it further. The company was called DJ Entertainment, and it was located in Highland, NY; just minutes from our reception site. The owner was a great guy – friendly, outgoing, and straightforward. He gave us a very clear-cut explanation for what needed to be done, music-wise, before the wedding, and some very reasonable prices. After further consulting with Jon, who told us how good the other emcees were (Jon wouldn’t be emceeing the wedding – he’ll be attending it!) we decided to go with them. We signed a contract and we’re all set for our wedding music.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com: Where is the DJ? If you’ll be using low lighting, like candles, for illuminating your reception space, make arrangements for additional lighting where the DJ will set up and talk to the DJ, beforehand, about this “problem.”]
Since that step’s all done, all we have to do is come up with a list of “Must Play” songs for the reception. This is probably going to be a long list for us – we both have pretty eclectic musical tastes and like a lot of different things. Some of our mutual favorites include pop rock and pop punk, ska, swing, and alternative rock. Tim really likes punk and experimental music, and I like more pop favorites and jazz. We obviously can’t have all those genres at the wedding, but I think there are ways to make it work – some songs are more wedding-friendly than others. Plus, we want to accommodate for the people who will be there so we can get everyone up and dancing.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com: Please Play: Make sure to ask your DJ about policy regarding requests from guests. Music sets the tone of a reception, so tell your DJ whether or not to honor requests and what requests you don’t want played.]
We already have certain songs chosen – we’ll be having our first dance to Tony’s Bennett’s version of “The Way You Look Tonight,” and the cake-cutting song will be “Dreams” by The Cranberries (we would have chosen that for our first dance but if you ever heard it, you’d probably agree that it’s a tad “undanceable.”) The garter toss will be the James Bond Theme (Tim’s choice) and the flower toss will be No Doubt’s “I’m Just a Girl” (my choice.)
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com: DJ or Live? When making your choice, keep in mind that a DJ will play music as it was recorded, with the group, the vocals, and the style just as it is in the original version of the song.]
Otherwise, we still have some work to do – the father-daughter dance and mother-son dance are still up for debate. We have a lot of work to do on the list still – it’s a really important part of the day for us, and we want to make sure that it fits our tastes and still makes other people feel like dancing. If you have similar musical tastes to us, keep reading the blog and I’ll post our final “Must Play” list for you – I hope someone out there will find it helpful, because we could sure use one right about now!
Until next time…
~Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 8:00:25 PM | | | Friday, April 04, 2008 | | | Flower Power | | Everyone has to have flowers at their wedding. I’m pretty sure it’s a rule or something – flowers are supposed to make the day. Although I can see where the flower enthusiasts are coming from, I could never really wrap my head around the concept of paying thousands of dollars on something that’s not going to last for more than a week after the wedding. (And then when you try to make them last by drying or preserving them, you just have a bunch of dry, crinkly flower leftovers to figure out what to do with. No thank you!)
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Time of Year Best Bets: In season flowers tend to be less expensive and longer lasting. Ask your florist to advise you on what will be in season on your wedding date.]
As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, last week was florist week. I should have gone about two weeks ago, but a nasty sinus infection followed immediately by, believe it or not, the flu prevented that from happening. As I lay half asleep on my parents’ couch with tissues stuffed up my nose and a bottle of Advil within arms’ reach, I got all sorts of ideas for floral centerpieces while watching wedding shows on TV – large bouquets of white Asiatic lilies and red orchids, sprays of tulips, and cascades of red roses. Of course when my body temperature veered to the lower side of 103, I realized that these ideas were going to be impossible. Flowers are, well, expensive.
Anyone who doesn’t know this has obviously never spoken to someone who’s planned a wedding. In the past six months, I’ve heard wedding flower prices that have ranged from $500 to $5,500 – no joke! Obviously the more expensive ones were very lavish, but it’s still a pretty intimidating figure when you’ve already spent so much on your wedding.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Cutting Back: You can save a bundle by using all the flowers from before the meal, during the reception. Double duty the attendants’ and bride’s bouquets, as well as the altar floral arrangements.]
We debated between a few different ideas for flowers. Someone suggested that we look into getting our flowers done by a grocery store like Stop and Shop, as many other Hudson Valley brides have opted to do. It’s a little less expensive than going to a florist but you’ll most likely end up going with the FTD standard arrangements instead of getting something a little more unique (if that’s what you’re into..) I’ve heard of a lot of local brides who were very impressed with the work that the local grocery stores did, though, so I had to look into it a bit.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: "Flower budget tip" Tighten your flower budget by using large wrist corsages, rather than bouquets, for the bride's attendants. Daisies and carnations are inexpensive and go with everything, if you get them in white.]
Although it seems like the grocery stores would be a lot cheaper than going to a florist, there was a very small difference between the grocery store and florist prices (about 10% less – which actually makes quite a difference if you’re planning on spending a lot!) For me, though, I thought the extra services of the florist bringing and arranging the flowers at the ceremony and reception sites as well as just being a little bit more personal would be worth it.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Aroma and Elegance Fresh, cut flowers will make any table look lovely. Choose a single bud or a copious arrangement, cut flowers add elegance and stye when used as a centerpiece.]
My mom and I stopped by Rood’s Florist, a family-owned florist on Route 9 in Poughkeepsie (they also have a shop in the Fishkill-Wappingers Falls area.) We had heard a lot of really good things about their work, so we figured we’d give it a try. Let me tell you, if service was the only thing I needed to go by to choose flowers, Rood’s would be it right on the spot. The gentleman we spoke to listened to my ideas, was knowledgeable, solution-oriented, and paid attention to details. He offered ideas and ways to lower prices on the spot, without having to think twice. This guy was a wedding pro.
He came up with some really interesting money-saving tips (like using bridesmaids’ bouquets as centerpieces after the ceremony) and was really friendly – his personality alone made me want to work with him!
As it turns out, flowers aren’t cheap. We got an estimate and my jaw didn’t exactly drop, but it was kind of hanging there in fear. What if we couldn’t afford flowers?
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Alternative Centerpieces: If you decide to opt out of flower centerpieces, consider these as alternatives: seasonal fruits, small, potted, blooming plants, edibles like cookies, muffins, honey cake, or zucchini bread, fresh or dried fruit. Bunching many candles, of different colors and heights, arranged in unusual candlestick or other holders make a “glowing” centerpiece.]
I mulled the issue over with my parents and Tim, and we came to somewhat of a decision: We’re going to try to reduce the cost by seeing if we can substitute cheaper flowers as fillers, and if we can’t then we’ll go with the florist for the bouquets and church arrangements – but we’ll figure out simpler solutions for the centerpieces. We’re still working over ideas. I’ll let you know what happens!
~Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 12:28:57 PM | | | Friday, March 28, 2008 | | | Showers of Happiness | | Well, here we are almost at the two-month marker. I can't believe the wedding's coming up so soon!
It was all made much more real to me last week, when my family and I had a bit of a crazy weekend . . . not only did my sisters plan the "bachelorette" party, but they also helped my mom plan the bridal shower, which was the following day!
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Box of Recipes. When shower invitations are mailed, include a card for each guest to write down a favorite recipe. At the shower, put all the cards in a recipe box and give them to the Bride as a gift from everyone.]
I know it sounds confusing, but it really was a great time my sisters, Tim's sisters, my friends and my cousins all went to Shadows on the Hudson for a late dinner, which was perfect because it wasn't all based around getting drunk, like so many bachelorette parties are. (Not that I have any problem with a little alcohol now and then, but both my sisters and some of my other family members are underage! I wanted to include them too they are some of the most important people in my life, and I wanted them to have a good time, too!)
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Rugged Parties. For the more rugged types, brides and their friends have taken the party outdoors and spent a day (and night) camping, hiking, and even mountain climbing.]
It was the most fun night I've ever had out with the girls the food was delicious, the desserts were to die for, and the cocktails were absolutely killer. I think it's safe to say that I've never tasted a better martini in my life! The service, however, was extremely slow we got there at 7 and didn't get out until 11 but luckily we had good company to keep us occupied. We were having too much fun to complain! =)
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Introducing the "couples' bridal shower. Sometimes, very aptly called a Jack and Jill, this pre-wedding party includes the prospective bride and groom and all their closest friends. The host and or hostess for a couples' shower can be their attendants, coworkers and/or friends.]
Afterwards, my sisters set up a surprise we all went to the Courtyard Marriott in Poughkeepsie so stay overnight. There were games, snacks (chips, cookies, brownies what more could a group of girls ask for??), and even a little champagne. One of my friends even brought orange juice to make mimosas and these cute champagne glasses for everyone to take home! It was a great night I seriously have the most awesome family and friends. =)
The next day was the shower and "shower" was the perfect word to describe it! It was a literal downpour of food, people, camera flashes, gifts, and, later, wrapping paper. I was so overwhelmed when I walked in the door at the sheer volume of people and things crammed into my parents' living room.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Goodies In a Jar. Fill a large jar with candies, jelly beans gummy bears, cinnamon hearts, or any other edible goodies. Let the guests guess how many "candies" are in the jar. The guest who comes the closest to correct number, wins the jar.]
I was actually very nervous for the shower beforehand. I know that sounds a little silly, but I used to waitress at Cosimo's in Poughkeepsie, and we often hosted bridal showers. Everyone always had fun, but the thing that always stood out to me was how much attention the bride-to-be would get every time. All good attention, mind you, but to have the eyes of 50 people fixed only on you for three hours straight? Eek!
It wasn't like that at all for me, though I was embarrassed to have all those cameras on me, but it was so nice to see everyone that I didn't really mind. It's so great having so many of your closest friends and family in the same room with you all at once! That's another thing I'm definitely looking forward to at the wedding. How often do you get the chance to see so many of your favorite people all at once?
My mom planned and ran the whole shower herself, with the help of my aunts during the day. She did such a good job she thought of things that I never would have thought of! There were these super-cute chocolate bar favors in a basket by the door they had the date and "Laura's Bridal Shower" printed on the wrappers and little decorative touches, like wedding bells and a centerpiece. She even came up with these great question-and-answer games that she handed out one of them asked all these questions about me (what I was wearing, what color my hair is, etc) and the other was an anagram game using "Laura and Timothy" as the source for the words. The prizes were heart-shaped cookie cutters, measuring spoons, and wine stoppers. I actually won one of the wine stoppers I'm kind of awesome at anagrams. =)
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Shower Power. The host, or hosts, of a shower should need to discuss the division of the shower's cost early in the process,, so that there are no misunderstanding later on.]
I shouldn't have taken it though I got so many great gifts already! Luckily I'm moving into a newer, bigger place soon; otherwise I'd have no clue where to put all the stuff I got! I absolutely loved everything I got, but my favorite gifts were the super-personal ones especially a cookbook with recipes from members of both my family and Tim's family from my cousin.
Everyone who is reading will probably think I'm crazy, but I had no idea about the "hat" tradition you know, where someone puts all the bows and ribbons from your gifts onto a plate and you wear it on your head afterwards. That was interesting…take a look for yourself!
In conclusion, the shower was a blast and it's all thanks to my mom, who is the best. Thanks, Mommy! =)
So *whew!* That was a busy weekend, but I had a great time and I think everyone else did too.
Counting down the days now…less than eight weeks to go!
~Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 4:58:10 PM | | | Friday, March 14, 2008 | | | Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize | | Wow – I can't believe it’s just two and a half months until the big day. The things that we have to do are dwindling, and now it’s all about planning and preparing for the wedding. I’m getting excited! I suppose I should be nervous or something, but I’m not – not at all, actually! I guess that’s a good sign. =)
[ HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Plan for Safekeeping: Make arrangements ahead of time for one of your attendants to collect the “accessories” and hold them for safe keeping. Make a list for him/her and include items such as toasting flutes, cake knife, guest book, and cake topper.]
One thing that IS making me nervous, though, is the money situation. I know, I know – I talk about money all the time. The truth is that my financial situation right now scares me. It seems like I’m spending so much cash on things like cake toppers and personalized napkins, and not enough on – oh, I don’t know – food?! It’s a good thing I’m on the infamous bride diet right now, because my cabinets are currently full of ramen noodles and maple syrup…and that’s about it. It’s not that I need to scrimp that much; it’s just that I get nervous when I’m dropping hundreds of dollars on things like Jordan almonds and tiny heart-shaped boxes to put them in and normally bring a book of coupons and a calculator to the grocery store with me when I buy cereal. If you’re a bride, you can relate…right? Please tell me that someone else out there feels the same way!
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Heirloom Budget Item: One way to save expenses and express sentimentality is to ask your parents, a close friend, or relative to borrow their cake topper.
Money issues aside, the accessorizing part of the wedding is fun. Y’know, there are so many little details that, once you look around enough, you want to include. Something as silly as personalized napkins becomes suddenly the most exciting thing on Earth. There are a lot of Hudson Valley resources for stuff like that, too – which is nice if you don’t want to be shopping around online all the time. Michael’s Crafts on Route 9 in Poughkeepsie is particularly good for little details, like bubbles and other DIY wedding stuff.
Okay, before you start wondering what accessories I could possibly be talking about, I’m going to run down a little list of things I’ve been buying for you. Some of them might seem unnecessary, but they’re just little details that I wanted to make the wedding a little extra-special.
- Wedding program paper
- Bubbles for after the ceremony
- Small basket to hold bubble containers
- Small clutch purse for me – so as not to burden myself with my GIANT everyday bag
- Guest book
- Guest book pen
- Picture frames for photos (for the guest book table)
- Small boxes for favors
- Tulle netting for inside favor boxes
- Jordan almonds for favors (because I think they’re delicious and pretty!)
- Other favor items that I’m not going to mention because I want to keep them a surprise for the guests (some of whom I know read this!)
- Cake topper
- Bridesmaid gifts
- Groomsmen gifts
- Gifts for… people who shouldn’t know they’re getting gifts! =)
- Thank-you cards
- Jewelry
- Shoes
- Undergarments for the dress
- Garter
- Personalized beverage napkins for the cocktail hour
- Decoration items to go around the room (window clings, etc – check them out at this Web site, “Invitations by Dawn!” The site is pretty pricey, but they have unique things…and very elegant-looking.)
- Candles for around the centerpieces
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Light Up My Life: If you are planning to use candles on your tables as part of, or as your centerpiece, check the burning time. A candle that's "out" after an hour or two just won't do.]
- Disposable cameras for the tables
- Convenience baskets for the bathrooms – complete with hairspray, clear nail polish, painkillers, body spray, etc. (We want to be nice to our guests, since we kind of love ‘em and all…)
- I know there’s more that I’m not thinking of…but I’ll end there.
So, that’s that. It’s adding up! I found a couple of places that stock things like that, though. Ergo, a list of shops where you might be able to find the said accessories:
- Forever Favors (Middletown) – Great store! Good for almost everything on my list – minus clothing items.
- The Bridal Cottage (Kingston) – Such a wonderful shop, and with great management. They offer everything from dresses to veils to shoes and purses. The owner is sweet, but can be a little pushy at times.
- Reginella Bridal (Montgomery) – They have much more than dresses – so much cute stuff! Jewelry, garters, gifts, you name it. It’s an intimate shop, but so good for finding unique little accents.
- Michael’s Crafts (Poughkeepsie) – You’ve probably been here before, and if you have you know what a great resource it is for decorating on a budget.
- Bridal Affairs by Melinda (Poughkeepsie) – This is literally a one-stop accessories shop. I love their selection! Not only do they have bridal accessories like gloves, veils, and purses, but they also have this awesome selection of attendant gifts (that can be personalized – yay!) and even printing for invitations and save-the-dates.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Sentimental Pillow: Bring the memory of loved ones into your wedding ceremony by covering the ring bearer pillow with fabric from something that belonged to a special person you want to recall. Your grandmother’s wedding gown may be not be wearable, but it can, for example, “offer” a sleeve as fabric for the pillow.
So, I hope that helps someone out there with their search for local wedding shopping. I know they’re hard to find, but the Hudson Valley is an amazing resource for most everything you’ll need for a wedding! Now if I could only find a bank in the Valley that gave away free money…
~Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 2:48:59 PM | | | Friday, February 29, 2008 | | | Home Hunters | | One of the things I've found while planning the wedding is that I kind of have been losing sight of some of the more practical things surrounding the wedding including where we're going to live once we're married. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely thought about it right down to us coming home from our honeymoon to a clean, new, perfectly furnished apartment, all ready for us to begin our new life in. I guess I just thought it would fall into place on its own, but that's never the way things work in the real world.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: A Mailboxes makes a Unique Wedding Gift: Paint, decorate and personalized a mailbox to be used for gift envelopes at the wedding and after the wedding at the Bride and Groom's new home.]
Unlike a lot of other couples that we know, Tim and I don't live together. I live in a (really) small apartment by myself in Dover, and Tim lives in Pawling above his parents' house. When we started discussing where we were going to live, we pretty much ruled out my apartment right away. It's a nice place, but I can barely keep my own stuff from spilling out of the tiny closet. I don't even want to think about what it'd be like if Tim's stuff was in there too it'd probably feel like we were crammed into a can of sardines.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Living at Home. Consider having your folks add a floater to their Homeowner's insurance policy. The floater will allow your parents to increase coverages that are limited in their original Homeowner's policy. A temporary floater added to your parents' insurance policy can also be used to insure wedding gifts you receive before your wedding.] So we had to start looking. The first question we had to ask ourselves was where we wanted to look. Our range was anywhere between Poughkeepsie and the Westchester areas, and we had to think first and foremost about prices. It's kind of hard to figure out what the price range of apartments is without actually going to look at them, but we found two really great resources for gauging prices online the Pennysaver and Craigslist.com. Both sites have areas for housing, and the listings usually include the area and pricing information for the apartments.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: A Homeowner's Policy is usually divided into two parts. The first section protects your home and the possessions it contains. The second part covers you when you are held liable for something you did or for something that happens on your property. This is the most basic policy and is one every young couple should have.]
After a little browsing, we figured out that the Hudson Valley is a really expensive place to live. The more inexpensive apartments were in areas that we knew weren't exactly ideal locations to live, and the ones that sounded perfect were perfectly miserable, price-wise. Since we're both musicians, we were looking into 2-bedroom apartments so we could have a room to kind of turn into an office/studio, but after looking up prices we weren't sure that could ever happenŠunfortunate, but better than going bankrupt!
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Work as a Team to set up a household budget to keep track of your expenses and of where your money is going. Keep in mind that having a budget gives you more independence, not less.]
Then, one day, everything seemed to turn around. One of the families that often hire Tim to fix their home and office computers mentioned that one of the tenants who lives on their property wasn't working out, and that a small guest house was about to open up. The area is nice (Pawling!) and Tim said that they were really nice people, so I started getting excited. They said they would cut us a deal on the rent if Tim continued to help them with their computers, and they also sent us pictures of the inside of the house. Sweet! It's beautiful small, but perfect for us. It has a loft and a sunroom in addition to a full living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and even a wood-burning stove in the living room so nice in the wintertime! We said we'd take them up on their offer, as long as they could get the pervious tenant out so we could move our stuff in before the wedding.
Weeeeeell, that just might be the problem. They mentioned that the current tenant isn't exactly thrilled about having to find another place to live, and you know how things go for situations like that they could stay there for months. But my perfect vision of after-wedding life! Coming home to a perfect home, already set up for the two of us! It might happen, and it might not. We talked about what we'd do in the event that things happened that way, and Tim will probably end up moving in with me in the meantime cramped, but it looks like our only solution should the house not be ready for us. It's not ideal, but it'll have to do.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Last Minute Details. Make logistic arrangements for your apartment or house. Arrange for someone to water plants, check on the cat and stock your refrigerator with necessities, so you don't come home and immediately have to go out food shopping.]
So I guess the moral of the story is that you can't expect everything to be perfect all the time. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that the apartment will be ready in time! I guess we'll have to see.
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 1:41:54 PM | | | Friday, February 08, 2008 | | | Picture Perfect | | Now that the reception and ceremony sites have been booked, we had to start thinking about one of the other pieces of the puzzle a photographer. This is one of the things that brides don’t exactly dream about for their wedding. I mean, everyone knows that you say your “I Do’s”, kiss, dance, and eat, but when have you ever heard a woman whisper “This is the photographer I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl!” during a photography interview? Never? Didn’t think so.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Back Up Back Up: Make certain when booking a photographer or videographer that he or she has a back-up team to cover for them in case of emergency. It's unusual, but if there is an emergency, he or she gets hurt or sick, or something catastrophic happens, you could be out a photographer and miss capturing these memories.]
Well, this was one of the things we had to deal with in the past week. I didn’t really expect to be swept off my feet my any photog in particular I actually was just hoping to find the cheapest one and book him or her as soon as possible. I know it sounds a little careless, but I was kinda hoping that SOME part of the planning process could be as clear-cut as that.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Is It You? When hiring wedding professionals, ask if the person with you have your interview (or that you see, or listen to) will be who is actually be at your wedding.]
Ha! No way! Choosing a photographer was much more difficult than I thought it would be. First there was the task of figuring out which ones actually exist in this area which was quite a struggle until I figured out where to look.
In case you don’t know already, there are some great resources for brides in the Hudson Valley on the Internet. Now, I know I’m a bit of a ‘net nerd, but the Web really is one of the best ways to find information on things quickly. I actually did most of my photography research on HudsonValleyWeddings.com, which has thus far been one of the easiest resources for finding things I need locally. The other site I have been using a lot is TheKnot.com. I found three photographers from the sites, and contacted each in turn.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Negatives Can Be Positive. Some photographers will sell you their negatives. If you plan to have duplicates made, any additional cost will be well worth it.]
The three I chose were Vivian Photography in Highland, Bella Photography (Westchester, I think) and Hudson Valley Photo in Fishkill. When I was looking over their sample pieces, it was pretty amazing how different the photo collections range from one company to another. Some photos were very traditional and clear-cut, while others seemed super artsy and unique. Looking from one to another, I realized that I DO have a preference when it comes to photos . . . guess I was going to be a little pickier than I had originally thought!
Bella seemed to have great prices and the photos were traditional and clean. The thing I liked about Bella is that you can go onto their Web page and actually see the package prices, which not too many other photographers do. That’s a move that I endorse! It says “Hey we have reasonable prices ad nothing to hide! We’re not going to rip you off!” And those are my favorite words to hear.
I LOVED Vivian’s style, from Vivian Photography. Her shots were taken thoughtfully and precisely, as if she had been planning the shots forever. You can just tell by looking at the photos that most of them were just spur-of-the-moment snapshots from an amazingly trained eye and creative mind. I actually went to visit her in her office, and just by looking around the office I could tell that I’d be impressed. Even the walls in the office seemed to purr “beautiful,” and the photos she showed us looked even better in person. Her prices were a little steep for me, though, and I had to drag myself away from the sparkling charisma of her expert shots and back into reality after I left. If I had enough money, I would have gone with her on the spot. I love her style!
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: No Surprises, Please: Make sure you know everything your wedding professionals intend to say and do. Last minute surprises in the officiant's speech or a photographer who "doesn't believe in" family shots can be very unpleasant. So, communicate, communicate, communicate!]
After fishing around for a while, my father mentioned that he had a friend, Paul, who did photography for a living. I actually remembered him from my high school junior prom, when the school had hired him to take everyone’s prom pictures. He runs a photography business out of Fishkill called Hudson Valley Photo Studio, and I figured I’d give him a try. When I saw his work, I was impressed he does both traditional and artistic shots, and all very professionally done. I loved the formal-yet-fun feel that his work embodied, and when we met with him Tim and I both agreed that our personalities meshed perfectly. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t get along with him, actually Paul was friendly and wisecracking, but accommodating and professional at the same time. As an added bonus, his prices were VERY reasonable and he threw us a great deal (since he’s friends with my dad and all.) Needless to say, we found our photographer.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Get Ready in advance with a spot for your family photos. Set up a backdrop somewhere out-of-the-way where it will be logistically easy to direct small groups of guests and get their photos taken during the reception.]
Ahh…one more piece of the wedding puzzle connected. It seems like there are still a million to go!
‘Till next time…
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 9:09:44 AM | | | Friday, January 25, 2008 | | | 27 Dresses | | Oh, the bridesmaid dress. When people ask about the wedding, the first questions that always seem to come up are what who my bridesmaids will be and what kind of dresses I’m going to put them in.
I have to admit that I’ve always kind of wondered who I’d have as my bridesmaids for my wedding day. My sisters were a given – I have two younger sisters, Kristen, 19 and Jessica, 14, who I knew would love to be a part of my wedding party and who I’d love to share the experience with. The other choices were tougher. I only wanted four bridesmaids in all, and I have some really great friends who I would love to put in.
Your bridesmaid’s function is to help you, so in choosing, pick reliable women who accept the responsibilities seriously. Someone upbeat, cheerful and resourceful and will provide a support system in a very stressful time.
When I met Tim, though, my choice became easy – he has two sisters, Alanna and Mandy, who I really like and get along with great. Not that I felt like I was forced to consider them for my wedding party, (au contraire – I actually had people telling me that I should choose old friends instead) but I actually liked the idea of having them with me on my wedding day. They’re fun, nice, and most importantly, are going to be my family soon – I wanted to get to know them better and get them acquainted with Kristen and Jessica, too.
When selecting your bridesmaids, choose women with whom you anticipate long-lasting relationships.
When I asked them to do it, my sisters said yes right away. Mandy and Alanna were a little reluctant at first, and I didn’t quite understand why. They had a lot of questions about the dresses and eventually I realized that they weren’t thrilled about the idea of every member of the bridal party wearing the same dress. It’s not exactly a little-known fact that one dress does not fit all.
Even though I never really considered David’s Bridal for my wedding party dresses before, I began cooking up an idea for the girls to get dresses there. You see, they have a color selection ranging from copper to black to light pink, and almost every dress in the store is available in certain colors. One of these colors is apple, which is a darker red that matches perfectly with the color scheme we were going for. So I figured, hey – why not just have everyone choose a different dress, as long as they’re all the same color! That would make me practically the best bride ever – the complete anti-bridezilla. I was pretty proud of myself.
Victorian rules of etiquette dictated that bridesmaids should be younger than the bride, their dresses should be conform to hers and shouldn't be any more expensive.
So everyone went and chose their dresses. It was great. It was more than great – it was perfect. Easy, foolproof, and best of all everyone would feel comfortable and look great. I went to order the dresses, and (surprise, surprise) there was a problem. A big scarlet-burgundy- pinky red problem. They were all different colors.
How did this happen, you ask? As it turns out, the materials were all different (figures that in a store made up of mostly satin dresses, they happened to find the only different-looking ones.) We had a nasty blend of satin, chiffon, taffeta, and faille. I had no idea what these fabrics meant until I saw the dresses side-by side. Okay, so I knew that satin was shiny but I didn’t know that chiffon was light and matte, taffeta was matte and backpack-material-esque, and faille was a heavy fabric with a horizontal matte wave. All information I would do better without, but I needed it in this case.
In antiquity, bridesmaids dressed identically to the bride, ostensibly in order to confuse the evil spirits bent on harming the bride.
We tried it again. I decided to go with the separates that David’s Bridal offers – three different top options and a long skirt (there were two length options, but I hated the shorter one.) Oddly, the tops were too short for some of my bridesmaids and we had to abandon that idea, too.
Over the weekend, we decided that we couldn’t bear to spend so many extra trips going separately – we had to go together. I was nervous that we wouldn’t find anything, but alas – success! After two hours of searching, we found the perfect dress. It was actually one of my bridesmaids’ first choices that I was reluctant to put on everyone because I wasn’t sure it would flatter everyone. Wonderfully enough, it did – and I changed my dress colors to black, with just my sister Kristen (or Maid of Honor, as you will now know her) in the apple red color. I thought it might look weird, but when I went onto the David’s Bridal Web page and “built” my bridal party (a special feature that allows you to see what everything will look like before you order and have an “uh-oh” moment ) it looked great. Here’s a photo of the dress – I think it’s going to look beautiful on everyone!
Once black was "forbidden" as a color choice for bridesmaids. Today, many brides opt for that color in deference to their bridesmaids who may be able to wear their gowns more than just once.
And a (virtual) toast to my bridesmaids, who are all going to look lovely on my wedding day! I’m looking forward to it even more now . . .
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 1:18:21 AM | | | Friday, January 18, 2008 | | | Reception Site Success! | | So, we’ve decided to partner up with HudsonValleyWeddings.com to bring our faithful readers a little more information along with my planning woes and successes (as much as I’d like to pretend that I’m a wedding expert, I’m actually far from it!) The Web site’s bridal guru Judy Lewis will be adding little tidbits of useful (and professional) information to my blogs each week. (And let me just tell you – it’s definitely going to be helpful! I’ve visited the site literally hundreds of times since I’ve been engaged, and it’s been extraordinarily helpful in me finding the things I need for the wedding. The HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tips will be in this color, so you easily can find them.
And speaking of things I need for the wedding, I found one – our reception site! It was a really tough decision, but we looked around for weeks and I think we made a good choice. We chose . . . the Garden Cathay Resort in Walkill, NY!
There were a number of things we were looking for in a reception site, and it just seemed to have everything we needed. We’re inviting about 120 guests so it had to fit at least that many people in the room, it had to have a buffet (Tim’s request), and it had to be at a reasonable price. Not too much to ask, but you’d be surprised how difficult it was for us to find everything we needed in a reception hall – especially the “reasonable price” part.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Not the Hard Stuff For guests who prefer it and for those who are driving, make sure to have a good selection of non-alcoholic beverages at the reception. As a bonus, it will also save you money.]
The first place we looked at was the Samuel Morse Estate, Locust Grove, in Poughkeepsie. They had a great space – clean, shimmering wooden floors and ceilings, a big window over a pretty landscape, and a caterer’s kitchen (they supply tables and chairs, but no food.) I love Locust Grove – the grounds are gorgeous, and it’s nice and close to the church where we’re getting married. When I called to find out some information, however, I didn’t exactly get the response I was hoping for on the price. It was $5,000 just for the space – and I was expecting over $5,000 for the catering, as well. Not exactly cost-friendly for our little budget, especially when you factor in centerpieces, flowers, decorations, accessories, and the cake. Although I didn’t want to, I had to say no.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Kid Count: Make sure that when you count "heads" for your caterer, that you get the number of kids' meals separately, as there almost always is a lesser charge for the under 12 set.]
I also looked at Millbrook Winery, which I thought might be fun and unique. Their reception room (if you opt for indoors, which we want) looked BEAUTIFUL online – high wooden ceilings, a large window overlooking the vineyards, and a cool-looking art gallery hallway attached. They said it fit around 100 people, which would have been cool if it looked like it did at all! The space was too small, and the thought of having no dance space made me nervous. The price was definitely right (only $200 an hour – sweet!) but I couldn’t deal with the small space. No again.
Mohonk Mountain House was way too expensive for us – a total no-go. I would love it, if we could afford it. I’d also love to go to the Grandview Hotel in Poughkeepsie, but it was pricey as well.
When I visited the Garden Cathay Resort, however, I was so excited. It wasn’t located in the best area, but when I drove down their driveway I felt like I was in a totally different world. A small golf course with Asian-influenced gardens, the resort seemed perfect. It had a nice stone entranceway and a trendy-looking lobby with rustic wood chairs in the corner. The first room I was shown was very nice – it was spacious with a nice wood dance floor and windows overlooking gardens.
[HudsonValleyWeddings.com Tip: Gratuity Charges Be aware that many sites and caterers automatically add "gratuity" of 15-20% of the cost of the meal and bar.]
The second room was even better, though! A short staircase led to a double-level ballroom with large, round hanging lamps and a burgundy-and-crème color theme – exactly the theme I wanted for our wedding. There was a whole bunch of windows and a larger dance floor, and – yay! – the option for a buffet. Heaven! Plus, the bathrooms were large enough to accommodate my dress (yes, I even thought about that) and food and cake was included . . . which means that clean-up is included. The price was wonderful, to boot. After a visit with my mother and a food-tasting session during which my parents and Tim and I were served with plate after five heaping plate, we were sold. Finally!
So, there you go. It only took us about a month, but we found our reception site!
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 9:04:52 AM | | | Friday, January 11, 2008 | | | Dress to the Nines | | I've been looking through a number of big wedding magazines, and I’ve got to tell you – it’s a nightmare! Every other page is a five-page advertisement, and most of them are for wedding gowns that threaten to latch on to my wallet with their sequined jaws and suck my finances dry.
I somehow never pictured myself getting married in a big, sparkling ball gown. I’m a very simple kind of gal, requiring little embellishment or trendy details. I guess I’ve just always let my, ahem, natural beauty speak for itself . . . or maybe I’m just too lazy to try to put together beautiful ensembles to wear on a daily basis. In any case, the Cinderella dress was never my speed. I also didn’t really feel like spending Cinderella-esque prices to get a dress that I’ll only be wearing for one day. I thought $400 or so as a maximum price would be reasonable.
I started looking for dresses with my mom and younger sister a few days, ago, since the wedding is, after all, only about five months away (how did time go so fast??) Right away, I found a great dress at a department store in the Poughkeepsie Galleria that I thought would look nice with a few beads sewn on here or there – it’s simple, but classic. White, satin-feel material, and a nice cascading triple bustle on the back. I thought it was nice, and the price was certainly right – only $100 for the dress and a matching shawl. I liked it, but my mother insisted that we look elsewhere.
She took me to Mary H. Abdoo & You, a specialty dress shop in the city of Poughkeepsie. I had heard about the shop through my neighbor, whose daughter-in-law was married in a dress from the shop, and figured we’d give it a try.
I was met at the door by a well-dressed woman (who actually reminded me a lot of my late grandmother, who was very sweet) who greeted us and took us down to the bridal department. There were so many dresses hanging around the store that just looked too gaudy for me. Big, beady patterns and lacy details were the order of the afternoon, it seemed. I was scared, but my mother and sister seemed in awe of the dresses.
I told the woman who was helping us exactly what I wanted (simple, strapless, makes me look thin) and she pulled out a bunch of options from the shelves – options I never thought I’d consider. I saw corset backs, long trains, lace, and beading, beading, and more beading. While my sister and mother looked fascinated, I was beginning to feel ill. I didn’t want to look like an over-decorated cake!
I begrudgingly pulled on the first dress, all 500 pounds of it. The thing was huge, and so heavy in my hands. All I could think of was how I was ever going to be able to get my funky dance moves on in such a heavy thing! I zipped up the side, and trudged out to face my waiting family members.
When I got out to the tri-fold mirror, however, my jaw dropped. In front of me was a graceful-looking, swanlike woman clad in a dress somewhat reminiscent of what Belle wore in Beauty and the Beast – embellished, yes, but in the best of ways. As I fingered the small beads and lacy details of the dress, all I could think of was how all I wanted, on Earth, was to have the most extravagant and gorgeous dress I could find.
Amazing how your desires can turn on you so quickly, huh?
So after that, of course, the department store dress (though beautiful in its own way) was nothing but a glimpse of my rapidly-disappearing frugal taste. I tried on one dress after another, each more beautiful (and expensive!) than the next.
One dress, designed by Irish designer Mori Lee, definitely seemed to stand out. As soon as I put it on, I just felt . . . gorgeous. It’s so hard for me to describe the feeling that I got when I slipped that dress on, but as the attendant was lacing up the ribbons on the corset back, I was just bursting to see how it looked. When I walked into the room where my mom and sister waited, they gasped. I skipped over to the mirror.
The dress literally looked like it was made for me. With a delicate crisscross design in the front and a small train with tiny beads in the back, it was unique, classic, and lovely all at the same time. I had to have it.
That is, until I saw the price tag. At $650 ($250 over my maximum price), it wasn’t exactly the price of my dreams. I was much more upset than I thought I’d be – I never thought I could ever want something so impractical so much. I shook my head (with actual tears in my eyes!) and we left the store. On the way home, my mother and I spoke about wedding dresses. She knew people who had spent over $3,000 on a wedding dress, and she thought that $650 was very reasonable. I doubted that those prices were typical, since she tends to have friends with much more expensive taste than a lot of people I know.
I asked around. My high school friend, Angela, said that it was a good price – her sister-in-law had spent thousands. I asked my college friend, Kara, about it, and she said it seemed like a great deal. Tim said that it seemed a little over our budget, but if I really loved it to go ahead and make the purchase.
I made my decision the next day – I went back and ordered it. The salespeople were helpful and attentive, and the owner turned out to be someone I used to work with (who offered me a great deal on alterations, I might add.)
Since words can’t quite express what it looks like, I’ve included a photo. It’s not me trying it on, because I don’t want Tim (who I know reads this) to see me in my dress before the big day!
The whole dress thing made me realize that you only get married once, and weddings aren’t made to be totally practical. If they were, we’d just be getting married in a town hall and going about our business as usual. Our wedding is a day to celebrate our love in a big way in front of our friends and family, and although it doesn’t always have to be lavish and over-the-top you’re going to want some things a little nicer than usual. That’s my take on it, anyway.
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 4:52:10 PM | | | Friday, January 04, 2008 | | | Pre Cana | | Happy New Year, everyone! The holidays were crazy for Tim and I – we tried to split holidays with the parents and it was pretty complicated and confusing. Everything worked out well though – we spent equal time with both the families, and no one felt hurt or left out. Now, let’s make THAT a holiday tradition! =)
Since we had a lot of time with family over the past two weeks, one of the things that kept on coming up was what kind of ceremony we’re having. Both Tim and I are from Roman Catholic but we weren’t sure if we wanted a traditional Catholic wedding. The idea of being outdoors for the ceremony was pretty appealing and Catholic ceremonies don’t allow for anything outside of the church, so it was a difficult decision for us.
The other thing that freaked us out a little was the whole "Pre Cana" process that engaged couples have to go to before getting married at the church. If you’ve ever seen "License to Wed," you probably know what I’m talking about – the terror tales from other couples we’ve spoken to scared us! We’ve heard about everything from trust tests (yes, the kind you had to play at summer camp in the 5th grade) to weekend stays in strangers' houses to get the feel of “married life.” So, needless to say, we were a little hesitant to get married in the church. Over the holidays, however, we made our move – I called the pastor at my parents’ parish (St. Martin De Porres in Poughkeepsie) to see what this “getting married in the church” thing was all about. The initial phone call was awkward, to say the least – I had prepared myself to hurdle quizzy relationship questions and answer questions about the extent of my religiousness. The phone call went a little something like this:
ME: Hi – My name is Laura, and I just got engaged. I’m calling to find out about the . . . er . . . getting married thing.
PASTOR: Hello, Laura. Congratulations and thanks for calling!
ME: Oh, thanks. So, um, what should we . . . do?
PASTOR: We’re going to have to set up a date for you and your fiancé to meet with me first. When are the two of you available?
ME (not knowing the schedule of a priest): Well, what days are good for you?
AWKWARD PAUSE
PASTOR: Well Laura, maybe you should talk to your fiancé and find out when the two of you have a free evening together.
ME: (internally: Oh, dear Lord! I just failed the first relationship test. We’re toast.) Oh, heh, well – I was just asking because – I wasn’t sure . . . uh, Wednesday! We’re both definitely free at 5:30 on Wednesday. See you then?
PASTOR: Great, Laura. I’m looking forward to it.
As it turns out, 5:30 was way too early for Tim to get there so he had to take the evening off from work so we would make it there on time. So you see how easily I lose my head in even the least trying of situations. As you can imagine, I was terrified about our first meeting. Well, Wednesday came and as we entered the rectory, I started getting nervous. Really nervous. What if we had to take a test? What if there were more questions?
It comes as no surprise that the meeting was a breeze. The pastor was great, the conversation was light and breezy, and we got all the information we needed – including the knowledge that we have to attend two small seminars on marriage to satisfy our pre cana requirements. No tests! No trust exercises! No living with strangers! It was quite a relief.
So we scheduled the meetings for February and March, and set our wedding date for May 24. Let’s hope that we can find a reception site for that date! We’re getting closer…more on that next week. Until then, we’ll be making some important final decisions – let’s hope they’re good ones!
-Laura =) |
| | posted by Laura Calhoon at 2:29:32 PM | | | Friday, December 21, 2007 | | | Location, Location, Location | | I never understood why people didn’t like feeling like they were "in a fishbowl" – you know, when someone feels like they’re being stared at and judged. It sounds strange, but I actually used to crave attention. I grew up a theater kid, taking voice and piano lessons, auditioning for musicals and performing in plays. I loved being looked at and fawned over. I dared people to judge me because, secretly, I knew I was the best. (What a little jerk!)
Since I got engaged, though, attention isn’t really the friend I thought it was. At first it was kind of cool – people calling to congratulate us, give us their best, and offer their help. I’ve always heard that brides-to-be get to be the center of attention for a while, and I thought I was prepared.
Well, surprise! I wasn't. Which is really interesting, because I guess I always assumed that I’d love being the talk of the family. The nonstop questions, well-intentioned-but-not-always-welcome suggestions, and ring-ogling that I’ve been facing over the past few weeks has already begun to wear on me. The questions, especially, have really been driving me up a wall lately. Who will the bridesmaids be? Will you wear white or ivory? Where’s the reception? I can’t answer all of these things just yet! I just want to take things a day at a time. That reception question is something I’ve begun thinking about a lot lately, though. We thought about setting the wedding date for next September (I like fall foliage, Tim likes the mild weather), but in the end we decided that we’re going to stick with our original thought – a May wedding. Our inspired reasons for this decision are as follows:
1. September is a whole year away! We don’t wanna wait that long!
2. Winter is too soon, and May is a slightly cheaper wedding month than June.
3. The sooner we can combine funds and share insurance, the better.
Hey, sometimes you have to be a little practical. Even the most romantic couple in the world needs money to buy those roses with. And let’s face it – coughing up a lung because you don’t have health insurance isn’t exactly sexy.
So, since we chose May, we really need to get on the ball. It’s only six months away!
Before we were engaged (all of two months ago), Tim and I discussed what our perfect wedding would be like. We both had the same vision: small, fun, simple, and inexpensive. Not at a “wedding factory,” like so many couples opt for. Maybe a backyard barbecue with just family and a few close friends, a tent rental, and an iPod with all our favorite songs for dancing.
As it turns out, that will never happen. First of all, whose backyard? My parents just laughed when I brought the idea to their attention, and Tim’s parents didn’t exactly jump for joy at the thought of tons of people tearing up their yard. Scratch backyard barbecue. Then we counted our family members up, and we were floored. Between the both of us, we would have to invite a minimum of 100 people. Apparently, we both come from enormous families! Where was all that food going to come from? Scratch small...and inexpensive. The wedding factory thing suddenly started sounding like a good idea.
We still don’t want something typical, though. I’ve had a bit of time to research local places online (The Knot.com and Hudson Valley Weddings.com were useful resources), and I found a few possibilities. I haven’t gone to see them yet, but here’s what I’m thinking so far.
Millbrook Vineyards and Winery – Millbrook , NY
I saw this online, and it sounds really cool. We’d get the whole upper level of a barn to ourselves, and it has a huge, beautiful window overlooking the vineyards. It’s also pretty rustic looking, so we’d get to really make the room’s décor ours – which I would love to do. I’m definitely a do-it-yourself kind of girl, and Millbrook kind of tickles that side |
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